Comparing Apples to Bananas
by SocietyMember
Summary: "I'm Regina Mills. I'm the mayor of this town. What did you say your name was? Doctor… who, exactly?" "Just the Doctor." He grinned. "Nice to meet you Madam Mayor." Tenth Doctor/Regina Oneshot


**A/N: I don't own Doctor Who or Once Upon a Time. This is for Bighead98. I apologize for how long it took.**

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><p>This goop, however, was different. The Doctor wasn't on an alien planet, first of all; he was on the TARDIS. Secondly, this goop was banana flavored. (Yum!) C, or third, rather, the responsible individual was not a strange plant, animal, or person.<p>

It was a child.

A little boy.

A baby, really.

His baby.

His baby that had catapulted smushed bananas all over the formerly clean TARDIS kitchen.

The giggling, banana-throwing bundle of joy was a relatively new development in the Doctor's life. He and his sisters represented a new chapter in the Time Lord's life. And, quite typically, this was a chapter the Doctor had stumbled upon completely by accident.

~DW/OUAT~

The Doctor was trying to get to Space Florida. Somehow, he ended up in Maine. Well, at least Maine was close to Florida Florida. It's on the same continent, in the same country, and on the same coast. He's perfectly capable of steering the TARDIS, thank you very much.

He didn't realize that his location was very-much-not-Space-Florida until he stepped out into suburbia, circa the late 20th century, Earth. Well, then. Still, adventure could be found anywhere. The sunglasses and giant sun hat might be a bit much, though, judging by the stairs he was receiving. Funny, he could normally walk around without attracting much notice.

Just then, "much notice" arrived and interrupted his thoughts. "Much notice" happened to be a pretty woman, smartly dressed with short, dark hair.

"Excuse me," she demanded. "Who are you, and what is your business in Storybrooke?"

"I'm the Doctor," he answered cheerfully. "I'm just travelling, and I'm afraid I've gotten a little lost. This is Storybrooke… where, exactly?"

"Maine."

"Maine!" he continued. "Lovely place, Maine. Beautiful snow in the winter. Lot's of mooses. Meese? What's the plural form of moose? Nevermind. Here's a more interesting question. Who are you and what is your business in Storybrooke?"

She looked at him incredulously. "I'm Regina Mills. I'm the mayor of this town. What did you say your name was? Doctor… who, exactly?"

"Just the Doctor." He grinned. "Nice to meet you Madam Mayor."

With that, the Time Lord swanned off, leaving a silently fuming Regina behind him.

At the time, he had no way of knowing just how much this short conversation would change his life.

He didn't stay long in the little town. Something was a bit off, but he couldn't quite put his finger on it. When he left the strange little town with the broken clock, he didn't expect to see it again.

And again.

And again.

And again.

Each time, the town was exactly how he had left it. The clock never moved. Mr. Gold made his rounds. Archie walked his dog. Ruby and her grandmother opened up their bed-and-breakfast.

And the Doctor went to see Regina Mills.

He didn't understand what was going on in Storybrooke, though not for lack of theorizing and scanning-with-every-different-type-of-scanner-thingy-he-could-find-in-the-TARDIS. Regina either didn't know what was going on or wasn't willing to tell him. Their conversations soon delved into other subjects, like gardening and literature. Nice, safe topics. Neither were fond of speaking of their family.

On one occasion, the two got into a philosophical discussion about the existence of magic. Regina argued that magic did exist and that it was a very powerful force. The Doctor was more pragmatic, echoing Arthur C. Clarke's claim that "Magic's just science that we don't understand yet." She threw an apple at him. Afterwards, they laughed and decided that science and magic was probably not a good thing for them to debate.

The Doctor came to rely on their conversations. He was without a companion at the moment, having lost Rose to another dimension. He was lonely, and Regina was a friend, someone he could care about. He would have asked her to come with him if it wasn't for her responsibilities as mayor.

And then, it all stopped.

It was a normal day for him, really. He had noticed something strange about a hospital in London and decided to check it out. In the process, he travelled to the moon, met a doctor-in-training, exposed a criminal, stopped the earth from being destroyed, and gained a new companion.

Martha was a nice girl, really. Smart, too. He enjoyed their travels together. Still, they way she looked at him made him uncomfortable. He didn't feel the same way that she did. When she decided to leave, he didn't stop her.

The TARDIS had not landed in Storybrooke since before he met Martha.

After Martha, he met Donna. Sweet, sassy, wonderful Donna. He enjoyed her friendship immensely, but he still missed Regina.

The TARDIS had not landed in Storybrooke since before he met Donna.

Donna was there when his friends gathered together to help him fight Davros and the Daleks. So was Rose. In the end, he lost both of them. He lost Rose to a clone and a parallel world. He lost Donna to a normal life and a lost memory.

It was a very, very lonely Doctor, then, who opened the doors of his TARDIS to see a Storybrooke that he barely recognized. There was a new sheriff, everyone lived different lives with different names, magic existed, and his Regina had a son. Henry. It was a lot for the poor Time Lord to take in. Regina's story about being the Evil Queen of the Snow White story was even harder to accept. After all, even he, a Time Lord of Gallifrey, had been raised on a variation of the fairy tale. In the end, though, she convinced him.

He asked her to come with him. He could offer her what she had always wanted: love and a chance to start over. She accepted.

And, indeed, their partnership did become one of love. They were married on a beautiful planet, under the shade of an apple orchard that stretched on for miles and miles.

Together they had two daughters and a son.

Their son, of course, was the infamous banana-mush-slinger.

Normally, Regina would be here to help the Doctor, but she had taken the girls out for some "mother-daughter bonding," and he had assured her that he would be fine.

Grumbling, the Doctor wiped the goop out of his eyes and tried to convince the little boy to eat what was left on his plate.

This was the image that Regina came home to: a banana covered husband and a delighted son. She quickly managed to get some food into the tyke, much to the Doctor's relief.

Later, she helped him wash the remnants of the fruit from his hair.

"You know, dear," she smirked. "This is another reason that apples are superior to bananas. Apples don't get ground into things like this."

"So?" He retorted. "Apples hurt when they get thrown at you. And I should know!"

"That was only one time."

"But it hurt!"

"Well, you're all right now, aren't you? I will say that bananas do have one advantage over apples. An apple a day keeps the Doctor away, and we certainly wouldn't want that, would we?"


End file.
